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i dont get it

No matter how hard I try, I can’t get you out of my mind. Nonstop. Either that or I’m not trying as hard as I should be. It’s difficult, you know? Everything reminds me of you. I know it’s hard for you too, I understand why we can’t talk. But I need to. I want to. I shouldn’t need you like this but it’s just too difficult. Am I really this vulnerable without you? I’m not used to this. I’d like to ignore every aspect and memory I have of you but it’s too difficult. I’m tricking myself by thinking that we could be friends, especially this fast. This is when I need a slap in the face but I’m getting tired of that. I’m an idiot and you’re an asshole that I can’t stop thinking about.